{Decor: Rules of Engagement}

Some rules are meant to be broken while others are there because they are just darn right. And you can't ignore good wedding decor advice. Sure, if you follow them too much, you might have a cookie cutter wedding where you lose one's personality but the worse thing that can happen is you ignore them altogether. Hopefully if you follow a few of our tips you will avoid the pitfalls of wedding design disasters.

Here's some rules of engagement - other wise known as the do's and don't to keep your wedding full of grace and elegance:

1.0 : EDIT & FOCUS

The tendency when you get engaged is to start going through blogs, magazines, and wedding books tearing out your favorite images and identifying all the ideas that you like. Isn't it hard to narrow down ideas or par down your wish list to the key motifs, center themes, and ideal style. Even the inspiration boards that start as a roadmap can sometimes steer you away from the end goal.

If less is truly more, then the job of wedding stylists or designers is to edit. A rather radical cure for divurging concepts, multiple motifs, and extensive color combinations is actually to remove an object, an idea, even a color when it just is too much. Keep what you love, drop what you aren't passionate about and begin thinking about the key pieces. Sharpen, fine tune, polish. Edit and Focus.

2.0 : DESIGNING AGAINST SPACE
The best utilization of your budget is to marriage the architecture and your overall wedding design/decor. Spend time and seriously look at the space. Look at it empty. Look at it in daylight. Look at it in the evening. Nancy Liu Chin of NLCD adds this, "when I meet with clients, the first thing I recommend is designing with the space in mind. The most elegant and thoughtful events are the perfect unions of space and a couple's sense of style. If you want rustic elegance, should you pick a Rococo ballroom? NO. You want a modern chic wedding, would you pick a dark English hall? NO". Of course if budget isn't an issue, there are tricks to cover the wall. You can recarpet. You can add fancy uplighting, props, and furniture. There's always ways around a room but in general, why design against a space, especially if it is something you like.

3.0: BOUND TO TRENDS
Rustic Luxe. Backyard Chic. Going Green. Eclectic Charm. We are all guilty as charged for trying to follow the latest and greatest wedding trendy and concepts. But those who've been in the business know that it's best not to follow what is "in" but what is true and from the heart. For a recent wedding, Jubilee Lau coordinated a wedding of a couple who are both into literature. The couple loved all things about books and writing. Their authentic passion for books and writing inspired the couple to get married in a library filled with books. How fitting is that? Embracing something that's authentic and sincerely one's own has more longevity and truth. A classic is a classic. To make your wedding, a classic, it really starts with being true to your own self.

4: JUST A CLICHE
Someone once said that "glamour is rooted in the unexpected". We love that saying. Don't allow your wedding to be just another wedding cliche. It's normal to do the vows, toss bouquet, first dance, cake cutting. These are all wedding cliche's but are they truly meaningful to you? If they aren't -- why do them? Do you have to do favors just because it's to be expected. Will a organza bag of candy - make or break the feel or design of your wedding? Probably not. If you don't like cake, should you do cake? What if you love ice cream? pie? Why not! Don't fall for the cliche.

5.0: WHO'S AFRAID OF COLOR?

Nothing changes a room then a splash of color. Most couples are afraid of color. We can't blame you, it's only natural but did you know that a splash of color in your linens is one of the quickest way to transform. A bold color can transform a black and white motif to another level. One great color with white can turn something ordinary into extraordinary like this blue stripe linen with blue hydrangea centerpieces.

Sure sometimes the hotel linen is fine but then your wedding will have that cookie cutter look. Where's the personality that marks your event from other?

6.0: HAVE A LITTLE FUN
The truly best events we've ever designed, attended, and seen all possess fun, humor, and charm. Sometimes we take things too seriously. Have fun. Put a little humor in your event.

7.0: TOO SUBTLE

If you embrace something do it and do it in a meaningful way not just once but a several times. When panelist Nancy and Kevin Chin were married in 2000, they loved the mutted hues of Bosc and Barlett pears. Nancy is a big foodie so she really wanted a food motif. Though many of their close friends joked that their pear theme should be titled the "Perfect Pair" they choose to keep the concept subtle with gentle accents like adding a pear motif to the invitation. They thought adding sliced pears in their first course salad, whole pears to their centerpieces and poached pears to their wedding cake would probably be enough. They learned the hard way that these touches - though nice - were too subtle that it didn't come across to their guests that there was a "pear" theme.

At the recent Wedding University, Gloria Wong reminded brides and grooms to take their concept and make sure to "thread" it throughout the wedding concepts.

In hindsight, if the Chin's had understood how to "thread" the pear motif throughout the wedding, they probably would have added "pears" to their placecards, menu, favors, programs, linens, and even the color of the bridesmaid dresses.

Sometimes what may be "over the top" to you, is lost to your guests.

Top Image by Mallory Samson

2nd Images by Mallory Samson

3rd Image from Veranda, Courtesy of Carolyn Roehme.